Above my grandfather’s bed hangs a picture of his parents taken in Italy just before they came to America. My great-grandfather is wearing his cavalry uniform and my great-grandmother stands beside him. She’s a large woman. Not round—square. No, cubed. Four feet by four feet by four feet. On Christmas Eve, my grandfather and his eight siblings would wrestle for her stockings because they figured Santa had an obligation to just keep filling until the thing was topped off, no matter how deep.

Halloween is just around the corner, so I guess it’s time for a Halloween-themed comic this week.

Is playing volleyball acceptable for men? My friend used to make fun of me because I did spinning classes every now and then and he called me “girly” so I decided to make fun of him because he played rec volleyball. I consider volleyball a girl’s sport, like synchronized swimming. I do girly athletic things

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Full confession: My mom had a red vest that looked suspiciously like the ones worn by organ grinder monkeys. I thought it was the greatest single article of clothing ever. I used to wear it around the house, pretending I was an organ grinder monkey while a never-ending cycle of make-believe barrel organ music tooted and oom-paa’d in my head.

Good morning, and welcome aboard Jetsky Airways flight 1015 to Seattle. We’ll be taking off momentarily, so at this time we ask you to disable and stow all electronic devices. Please keep in mind that cell phones may not be used on board the plane at any time. If you have a cell phone, it is to remain in your baggage, unused and alone, waiting for you to return, fighting feelings of resentment while still wondering if you’ll ever love it the same way you used to.