All entries by this author

“Mad (Men) Lib,” by Michael Wolman

Jun 6th, 2012 | By

Mad Men is a popular show on {previously obscure acronym} about Madison Avenue during the industry’s golden era: the early {decade often portrayed using broad generalizations and hackneyed, one-dimensional stereotypes}. The show has received much acclaim, particularly for its verisimilitude and perspicacity in capturing the zeitgeist of the period, which is a phrase that the {synonym for “affected pedants”} who watch Mad Men would understand but you probably don’t.



Down With Ducklings

Jun 1st, 2012 | By

Just because something’s cute doesn’t mean it should get free bread. Like baby ducks. Those jackasses need to get their own damn bread. Earn it like the rest of us.



“Summer Dress Code Policy,” by Dan Schmecker

May 30th, 2012 | By

To All Employees in our Shelton office:

In recognition of the hard work and excellent business performance results of our Shelton employees, we are pleased to announce that our dress code for the summer will be casual attire from Monday, July 2nd through Friday, August 31st.

Acceptable Casual Attire includes:
– Blue jeans or jeans of any modest color (not green). No ripped, torn or bedazzled denim please. Jean shorts are acceptable only with a doctor’s note. Acid-washed denim must be of Bon Jovi quality or higher.
– All polo shirts. As outlined in our corporate mission statement, polo shirts are the highest exemplar of the business casual ideal. Through polo shirts, all things are permitted and all transgressions are made right.



Good Will Bromance

May 29th, 2012 | By

Dear Jonathan, My best friend and I have been joined at the hip since high school. We’re two normal married guys, but now we’re labeled as a “bromance” and everyone seems to judge us strangely for it. What should we do? A few years ago, I went to Hooters. A lady friend of mine had

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Pride of My Ancestors

May 25th, 2012 | By

WARNING: Today’s comic contains images of a blurry penis in a jar. If you’re offended by blurry penises in jars, you probably shouldn’t look at today’s comic. If you’re at work, you also probably shouldn’t look at today’s comic, unless you’re a urologist and penises are part of the job.