Could God make a rock so heavy He couldn’t lift it?

Does God ever get tired of people wondering whether or not He could make a rock like that? Does God ever say, “Let Me just make this heavy rock and then lift it so people finally shut up about it”?

How quickly could God sell out Madison Square Garden if He agreed to make and lift the rock in front of thousands of fans/gamblers? My friend’s band–they’re called Old Boner–could open for Him.

I actually wasn’t intending to do a follow-up to last week’s comic, but this idea popped into my head and I just can’t say no to a Super Mario Bros. reference. Not ever.

Plus, I got to thinking that if Annie was creating children out of food–perishable food–then those kids were going to start rotting at some point unless she had built some sort of refrigerated bassinet. Which she hasn’t.

Dear Foods That I Have Eaten in Cars,

For decades now you’ve been my moveable feast, my chow-down conspirator. You’ve entertained me, sustained me, fulfilled me, and thrilled me in various vehicles across the continent. For your devoted companionship I will forever be grateful. Which is why it pangs me (and I do mean pangs) to announce that, although my feelings for you are as fresh as the day we met, our journey of dietary delights must now come to an end.

Don’t take it personally, Foods That I Have Eaten in Cars. You’re still the sizzling hot sustenance I fell in love with years ago. It’s not you —it’s me.

Annie’s questionable sanity continues to deteriorate. Many of the characters in this comic have some sort of social and/or mental disorder, but it’s always fun to have someone that’s crazier than everyone else–someone who’s crazier than a bag of ninjas without being on hallucinogens. That honor is Annie’s alone.

In last month’s column, eight fascinating fictional ladies were selected to fight to the pain in the first ever Strong Female Characters (SFC): Battle Royale. This month, the fight begins!

But first, a quick side note. Todd Aiken, your despicable comments about “legitimate rape” has not gone unnoticed. You have been officially added the official SFC Shit List along with other horrible examples of humanity, including but not limited to: Charlie Sheen, Bristol Palin, Daniel Tosh and Dan Cathy.