Last night, I had a strange dream. And while I could not begin to describe the flowery wonderland of my subconscious, I awoke this morning with three Truths that seemed very urgent. Truth 1: Mad Libs were awesome. Do you remember Mad Libs? You had a sheet of paper that asked you to list out

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For your Sunday enjoyment… Ohio!

Hmm. I don’t really know what to say about this one.

We are committed to providing a sexual harassment-free workplace. Sexual harassment is unlawful and will not be tolerated. If it is determined that an alleged instance of sexual harassment is credible, the company will take swift and appropriate action against the offending party. Etc. etc. etc.

By now you’re probably wondering two things: 1) “What is that marvelous, intoxicating odor?” and 2) “Why, as I read this, is this exemplar of masculine perfection hovering over me?”

College is a time where you learn that ramen noodles are just as great for breakfast as they are for dinner, and that your clothes aren’t that dirty and could probably be worn another three or four times before needing a trip through the spin cycle. Oh, and for most breaks (spring excluded), you’re expected to return home, and if home long enough, find a job.