Dear Jonathan, I’m curious, what’s a typical work day like for you? My friends told me that you’re an ear model, but you seem too down to earth!   A delicate creature (and part-time ear model) has been overcome! ———- Got a question? Email jonathandefenestrates@gmail.com.    

No discussion about superpowers would be complete without a visit from Psychic Rob, who was born with every psychic ability ever. The telekinetic maneuver displayed was instrumental in how he met his wife. It’s also the reason he’s had to move from five different neighborhoods in the past six years.

In: Assonance
Out: Alliteration

In: Burgundy
Out: Bourgogne

In: Calico
Out: Coal tar

With every New Year comes a new promise that we make to ourselves to get better. We vow that we’re going to finally get in shape, that we’ll take the time to show our loved ones we care, that we’ll start seeing the world or spend less time at work, and all that self-improvement hogwash you tell yourself year in and year out.

If superpowers can come from gamma rays or radioactive spiders or the simple act of being born with the right genes, then certainly, certainly, superpowers can come from meteorites. The only problem is, how do you know what powers you have once you’ve got them? I mean, not every power is obvious.