Almost a year ago, my wife surprised me with a Fitbit for my birthday. Perhaps she had noticed me glancing at hers longingly, checking in on her weekly challenge stats, monitoring the rises and falls in her heart rate, or surreptitiously slipping it on late at night when she was in bed and had left it to charge. The power I felt when wearing it, if only for a few short minutes, was intoxicating. I, a mere mortal, could count my own steps and measure the pace of my heart!

The holidays are like communism. It’s a great idea on paper, then people get introduced to the system, and then everything goes to shit.

If today’s Ben & Winslow comic looks strange and amazing, that’s because I didn’t draw it. I’m taking a break, remember? Today’s strip was drawn by talented cartoonist Phil Jones, who’s been uploading a great series of dinosaur-themed comics called Size and Stupidity over on deviantART.

So you’ve met a cynic. You find him insufferable, but you can’t avoid him because your best friend thinks he’s “kinda cute in an ugly way.” Fear not, for we have supplied a fool-proof method to cure him of his prickly outlook on life.

Today’s comic opens with a joke that I like to tell my kids. And because the oldest are 7- and 5-years-old, this is exactly the kind of humor they enjoy. (I have to warn them not to repeat these sorts of jokes at school. While I’m sure they’d be a hit among their friends, I don’t want to face the inevitable backlash when teachers and parents find out I’m the source of their material).