There’s going to come a point where you may need to cut someone from your life. Unless of course you’re keeping someone around as a walking container of compatible organs.

Looks like Winslow hasn’t finished writing stories in his acclaimed Bahls Mythos. I for one applaud his commitment. He’s got a way with titles, that’s for sure!

Here I go, wasting the day again. I must be the laziest writer on the planet. My plan was to start writing first thing in the morning before even checking my email because I knew email was a gateway to surfing the Internet. But while the coffee brewed I convinced myself I would pop online only for a second, one single second, and gave in. I booted up my laptop and checked my email, which led to eBay, and then to Craigslist’s missed connections. I wondered if anyone saw me during the five minutes I was at the grocery store buying low-fat vanilla yogurt yesterday.

Well, well, well, what have we here? Has another issue of beloved humor magazine Defenestration crawled ashore to lay its eggs? I think it has!

I think Eileen would agree with me that editing this magazine has, on the whole, been an immensely positive experience. We get to read a lot of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry–most of it never before published, and some never before seen by another magazine or editor. That’s a cool experience. A humbling one, certainly. And it’s one of the things I love about editing Defenestration.

But the world can’t be sausages and rainbows all the time.

To ensure a head of disproportionate smallness, it is recommended the mother be an alcoholic. While moderate drinking may effect inadequate head size and facial defects, the desired malformation of ears, nose, and digits cannot be guaranteed without regular and heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages, particularly during the first trimester. Spirits are preferred to grape-based products.