Winslow bought a bouquet from Online Flowers Good Times Any Day Plus a year ago (it was a special $99 “super bouquet” that was meant as an apology for all the years he forgot to send flowers on Mother’s Day, which was literally all the years). Now the store won’t leave him alone, and he can’t seem to find an “unsubscribe” button on all these stupid emails he keeps getting. Will the madness ever stop?!

I want to talk a little bit about my experience with the Greg Foreman Grill.

Now, many of you fact-checking hipsters are going to call me out and say that I spelled the first name wrong, but Greg Foreman is my cousin from West Virginia and he is the inventor of The Grill.

I’ve heard there’s another big name out there cock-blocking Greg from the prime lady-action that he’d inevitably get by being the inventor of The Grill, but let me say right here and now that it was Greg Foreman all the way.

It’s not a cannoli. No one eat it. Seriously.

I overheard some friends at my house one night saying: “Her tree looks more real than ours.” Why was this innocent remark, even compliment, so upsetting? Why did it keep me awake that night?

It’s May, and artists all over the world have been celebrating by drawing mermaids! Lots and lots of mermaids! So I decided to join the festivities and draw some mermaids of my own. I mean, Annie essentially has Ariel’s color scheme, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to add a tail.