Villagers swarm the police station
there’s a marijuana issue across town,
a marijuana issue!
Folks are unlawfully getting stoned!
Chief soars out smelling like the finest indo
don’t worry people; we will solve it, carry on!
Please carry on!

Let us now praise famous men:
Praise is wholesome, by and large—
you know they need it now and then
because they’re famous, because they’re men.

I guess there wasn’t a way
this wouldn’t have happened

when I show up late
to a party where everyone
has done shots since midafternoon

New issue arriving on December 20th, 2023!

The Classic 

A babysitter is staying over at a client’s house when she gets a phone call. “I’m going to kill you,” a strange voice on the other end of the line says. She tries to ignore it, but she gets another phone call. “I’m going to kill you,” the voice tells her again. She calls the police and tells them about the threatening calls. The police officer promises to run a trace to find out where the strange phone calls are coming from. 

“Oh my god!” the officer says, suddenly. “The calls are coming from inside the house! Get out! Get out now!” 

But there was no reply…