As a certified grocery bagger at the local Freddy’s Foods, it is my Assistant Manager given right to discuss, with each customer, the items that they have purchased as I bag for them. I would also add that I can do so as loudly as needed to ensure that the customer is satisfied. I refuse to remain quiet and let the cashier dominate the conversation, to where I’m only allowed to ask, “Paper or plastic?” 

I’m bored, everyone. I’m really, really bored. I wish I had a label maker.

“I think it goes without saying: that hair is a different color than that hair.”

“A drinking buddy turned me on to these stories.  I looked for the book after we’d been out bar hopping but couldn’t find it.  Barnes and Noble said they could order it.  I didn’t know much about chinchillas before the book arrived.  Fascinating!”