On October 16, 2014, at approximately 0845 hrs, my children: Michael and Chloe Vargas, caucasian juveniles; and wife: Luisa Marquez-Vargas, caucasian female, age withheld, arrived at the Disneyland Theme Park in Anaheim, CA. Upon entering the park, I diverted from our lane of travel to enter the Jolly Holiday Refreshment Corner with the objective of obtaining a bottle of water. I secured the water bottle in exchange for six dollars. I stated to the purveyor that six dollars seemed “a small price to pay for a basic human necessity.” The purveyor did not appear to detect the playful satirical tone of my comment.

I met Mary Gaitskill once, and only once, which stands to be one of the most memorable and embarrassing evenings of my life.

A month ago I said that Winslow’s attempts to improve the strip had spawned a number of related ideas, and this is the start of the second one. Prepare to have your minds blown and your opinions of Ben & Winslow to plummet. Muahahahahaha!

Ellie? Ellie! How did this get in here? Well, I’m sure the Wade Whimsies just came alive in the middle of the night and dispersed themselves throughout the shag carpet. Is that what I’m supposed to believe? That the genuine porcelain miniatures are following me around and burying themselves in my rug? That you weren’t carrying them around in your weird over-sized pouch-pocket doing god knows what while I was down at the halal cart?

Hey! It’s something absurd from an already absurd comic!