Here, eat this fucking sandwich

that I had originally intended to make
for myself but later realized

was no good for me

My daughter saw this one and asked, “What happened to his face?!” To which I replied, “I don’t know!”

What could a classic British TV series like Upstairs Downstairs and Dungeons & Dragons have in common?

Questions 1-4: Misery. Answer the following story problems using any method you like – provided it’s the method that I want you to use. Each problem is worth enough points to convince you that answering any incorrectly will earn you a grade that sabotages all of your future hopes. Calculators are not permitted.

Everyone knows that you can’t blame wolves for other people’s behavior. But people who were raised by wolves can be blamed for all sorts of things. Poor hygiene. Bad habits. Unhealthy diet. The wanton destruction of throw pillows. This is just how the world works.