Here, eat this fucking sandwich

that I had originally intended to make
for myself but later realized

was no good for me
because I had already
reached my set calorie
limit for the day.

And I know that you
don’t particularly like
mayo and even if
the turkey’s a little dry

I couldn’t just throw it all
away or peel the lettuce
off so please just eat it
and stop bitching about

how I never do nice
things for you. Look, I would
have taken it myself but since
I’m still dieting and shit like

that can be so unhealthy and fattening,
I decided to give it to you.

————

John Roth is a pineapple. Despite having no hands, his work has appeared or is forthcoming in The Apeiron Review, Phantom Kangaroo, and Bird’s Thumb, among others. Don’t mind his tough exterior, his heart’s all pulpy on the inside and it beats for you.