00 Blankety Blanc, Agnostic Brothers, 1988
“the nothing of whites”, excellent on an empty stomach.

02 Lenin Blanc, State Vineyards, 1917
an active, revolutionary wine with the bouquet of a foxhole.

I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf recently. Correction: I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf lately. And I don’t think I’m the only one, either. Part of me was worried that not enough people would understand today’s comic, but then I realized Animal Crossing is what all the cool kids are playing.

Poetry: Please submit no more than 4 poems at a time. We seek sexualized hybrid work of a confessional nature and a philosophical bent that speak of things that matter such as the hypothetical dreams of rapper Riff Raff and the G-chat conversations from freshman year of college we read and reread until our eyes bleed.

As I type this, the neighbors are still firing off fireworks. In the morning, the ground will be littered with the charred corpses of what remains of their late-night fireworks displays. It’s the same every year. No one’s tried to become a human firework yet, but I expect it’s only a matter of time. Winslow’s still trying to perfect it.

You have reached the product help line of the Excellent Egress Corporation. Please select the product for which you require assistance: The Albert Pierrepoint Hangman’s Caboodle, complete with a 13 foot length of 3/4″ diameter Vintage Italian silk hemp rope, bound with Chamois leather to avoid chafing the skin. The Ernest Hemingway Monte Carlo B

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