Posts Tagged ‘ Fake Nonfiction ’

“Emergency Swim Lessons,” by D. B. Silly

Jun 19th, 2019 | By

If you are reading this, chances are you are in a state of Drowning.



“Infant Girl Photo Shoot on Soft-focus Blanket,” by Chloe Yelena Miller

May 29th, 2019 | By

You wanted to see pictures of my infant girl swaddled in soft-focus, white blankets, right? I’ve posted my top fifty outtakes on my Facebook page. I don’t see that you gave the post a heart yet and you probably want to.



“An Update from Your Favourite Ultra-Successful Realtor!” by Alex Colvin

May 1st, 2019 | By

I haven’t had sex with my wife in 270 days, and counting! And I’m proud to share that fact! Do you want to know WHY? Because I can’t make money or further my career when I’m having sex! My main goal is to be to most successful realtor in all of the Merrittville region, and sex can’t help me do that. Instead, I get pleasure and release from reading my trade records and watching money pour in from my Buyers, who I’ve convinced need to pour the entirety of their pitiful savings into a house that I convinced them that they need!



“Jeffrey and the Runaway Sock (Not a Children’s Story),” by R.D. Ronstad

Apr 24th, 2019 | By

Editor’s note: In the profile of Jeffrey Banks we ran in the July issue of It’s Clothing Time, we learned, not surprisingly, that Mr. Banks elicits a variety of responses from shoppers as he travels the country visiting chain store men’s departments spreading his message calling for a better life for socks. He’s been labeled as many things during these visits: a comedian, a charlatan, a nut, a loser desperate for attention, a forward thinker, a visionary. E-mails we received after running the profile contained similar responses.



“What I Did on My Summer Vacation,” by Jon Shorr

Mar 27th, 2019 | By

My goat fell into a well. Me and my dad built this stone wall around the opening a couple years ago, and we check it all the time. I noticed my goat was missing when I went out to the stable to milk it. First I thought maybe Eliphaz was out riding it, but then Eliphaz came over my house to play baserock, and I asked him if he’d put the goat back in the stable, and he’s like, “What goat?” and I’m like my goat, and he’s like, “I didn’t take your goat,” and I’m like, “Well where is he, then?” and he’s like, “I don’t know.” We wandered around looking for my goat, but we couldn’t find him.