They said oatmeal.  Eat locally-sourced oatmeal to lengthen and enrich my life.  Then it was fish or blueberries, then that South American grain with the maggoty texture.  Let’s not forget dark chocolate and red wine, or that one green.  You know.  With ropy-stems?  You have to prepare it with a bomb tech’s level of focus just to make it edible. 

Here at Placebo Meadows we believe that no matter how old you are, you can always expand your life with learning. With that thought in mind, here is a list of this year’s lectures. Dates will be announced in the near future.

Hold the applause. Put down the glitter bomb. Nestle the expired poppers back into your Lulu fanny pack. This coming out is not as exciting as you think. I’ve spent a decade of pride months unable to enter the gay community as predator or prey. The Darwinian classifications leave me out entirely. Bear? Otter? Twink? None fit.

“I don’t know why they didn’t hire me. I was perfect for the Italian lady role. I told them I was Italian and they have no way to verify that information, especially if my mom is Italian and she took my father’s name which would explain why my last name isn’t Italian!” stated up-and-coming actress Mia in fury while getting her forehead Botox injections.

Former Sir Leicester is in town. His entry from the UK was uncharacteristically low-key compared to his spectacular entrances at ribbon-cutting ceremonies and trade shows. He did not arrive in a hot air balloon or on an elephant’s back, as we have seen him do before. He simply landed at the airport on a jet plane like any other mortal being. He flew the plane himself, though, being a certified pilot.