Every child grows up and slowly acquires the knowledge of social norms within the particular society in which they are being raised. The immigrant child, however, faces the specific problem of trying to merge two conceptions of normalcy: that of their parents, and that of their peers. With these dichotomous views one can’t help but feel a little different. Much of this otherness stems from a variance in religion and the cultural rituals that sprout from it. And when it came to “otherness,” even at an early age I was well on my way to cornering the market. My personal exposure to basic Christian beliefs was so limited during my childhood that there was a time when I just thought “Christ” was a surname. I imagined the village mixers in Nazareth during his infancy…

Sitting will kill you. That’s a scientific fact: a new paper in the Lancet shows that every minute spent sitting on the toilet takes as many as seven minutes off your lifespan. Consider that as you hunker down there, peering at your smartphone!

Dear Chase Bank,

Bike sharing is rolling through every major city in America as the go-to mode of transportation for commuters and cruisers alike. I’m sure as a large bank it boils your blood to see your competitors being hailed as the savior from subways and buses.

Tonight, on the eve of my third national spelling bee, I can’t help but wonder what it’s all been for.

I’m 11 years old and I’m over the hill. This year, a five-year-old girl qualified for the national bee. Five. Years. Old. You’ve got to wonder what losing to a toddler does to a promising young mental athlete.

Avoid this place.

The amenities, the cleanliness, the customer service, everything leaves a lot to be desired, and I certainly wouldn’t take my family here ever again. The only reason I gave this place even one star was due to the peace of mind provided by the ever-vigilant security guard, Mr Voorhees, who would stroll through the woods, every single night, with his protective white hockey mask and machete.