Hey, you. Yeah, you, sitting there. Why go on struggling with the hell of switching from one streaming service to the next? Snap out of it, you soft-brained human. You need to subscribe to one holistic service that inhabits your soul and lives your life for you at an easy $19.99 a month.

“Hi! I’m Christy. Yes, I can tell you about FAQ. What would you like to know? I’m sorry, I did not catch that. What would you like to know? What would you like to know? Okay! You’d like to know about FAQ!”

99 bottles of fear on the wall, 99 bottles of fear, take one down and pass it around, 100 bottles of fear on the wall. 

Picture a factory. No, not like that. Like a mega metronome fueled by space and time. Billowing smokestacks ascend into the ethers, releasing sonorous aphorisms born of byzantine soothsayers. Turning cogs crank such a hyper neo sea change that your atmosphere reverts to primordial Babylon. There, can you see it now? This is the C+C Music Factory.

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtagButJustWantedToCoverMyBasesWithAsManyAudiencesAsHumanlyPossible