As many of you know, The Bottomless Cup Initiative had its genesis in pending legal action against restaurant chains advertising Bottomless Cup Refills. It was at the request of several such establishments, as well as the larger umbrella organization, that we began our research. We regarded the initial five million dollar grant as generous, and perhaps naively, sufficient. Today I wish to apprise you of our efforts and results thus far.

Prone: In Praise of Lethargy

Campbell Somerville, Michaels College Press, 2011, 275 pps. (paper)

Written over the course of thirty years and still unfinished at his death in 2010, hermetic Professor Somerville’s pensées on the value of inaction were found in his university apartment along with his partially decomposed body.

“An unbelievable find” — David Larsen, Michaelstown Fire Chief. Only $9.95

Once again, the Educational Toys Collaborative is publishing its review of new educational toys and kits now on the market. As before, we have tested all of the kits and make suggestions as to potential hazards or possible improvements in each case.

Okay, so there’s a flood. A man is caught in it, and he climbs up onto the roof of his house in order to escape the water. As he’s sitting there, another man comes by in a raft.

“Jump in!” the man says. “We can row to safety!”

The man on the roof says, “No, leave me. I have faith that God will save me.”

So the man in the raft paddles away.

I was up to talk to my doctor about Rybelto. I wanted to know what Rybelto did. The guy on the commercial held a bowling ball. Maybe Rybelto improved hand-eye coordination. I wanted better hand-eye coordination so I ate the $50 copay and went to see my doctor. He told me Rybelto wasn’t right for me.