Dear Eric, Frank Sinatra wants to take your ape to the picture show because he has some extra money and he is inclined to do so. Allow him to do this. He will comport himself in a manner befitting the most respectful courtier. He takes a casual approach to apes; maybe a bite to eat
[continue reading…]
We admit fighting crime is a tough job. Everyday some Park Avenue housewife strangles her plumber with a cock ring. You’re tired, you say, and your focus is on solving cases, not Seventh Avenue. Your dedication is to be admired, but that doesn’t excuse the polyester suit with dried mayo on the lapel. Sorry boys,
[continue reading…]
She woke up groping for her name, she woke up deaf. The room surrounded her. Piles of clothes, blankets and empty wine bottles lay strewn across a warped wooden floor. She stood up, holding the wall for balance and, to test her hearing, yelled, “Hey!” She felt the word form and fly but couldn’t hear
[continue reading…]
1. Yeats walks into a room backwards and turns slowly. 2. Yeats likes the suspense of the thing. 3. Upon turning, Yeats will say, “Hi, fuckers!” and you will wave. You always wave. 4. Yeats, upon doing it with a woman for the first time, insists that she thereafter call him “Butters”. 5. At various
[continue reading…]
Money should be used for useful things: pants-less man servants, spinning rims, and perhaps a gold and diamond encrusted pizza. Money therefore should not be applied to bone-crushing soul-crunching Caribbean medical school debt. When I first received my beginning payment for my loan, I immediately thought, “I’m going to have to start to hook every
[continue reading…]