It started three months ago. I was getting ready for work when I noticed my feet didn’t feel right. I looked at my shoes and realized I had them on the wrong feet. It was kind of funny, but how does a sober adult put his shoes on the wrong feet?

I switched my shoes and went to work. I told my wife about it that night and we had a good laugh.

Dear Incoming Students of the Class of 2020!

Please join us for a performance of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet this evening in the outdoor amphitheatre. After the play, soft drinks and snacks will be served in the Jefferson Courtyard.

Go Badgers!

CaffeCuisine Announces Its New Loyalty Program,* starting April 2016, and Here’s How It Works!

Excuse me, but do you mind if I use your bathroom, as long as I’m here? Okay, whoa, I can see you’re a bit put out, but I really, really have to go. And yes, I know that the last time you let me go here, my aim wasn’t all that great. I left a stain or two on your toilet seat, also on the bathroom walls, the floor mat, probably on the mirror over the sink, the medicine cabinet and the light switch. My aim is pretty bad, I admit.

Dear Friends and Otherwise,

First, I’d like to offer my condolences to the Martin family. I hope little Gabby comes home from the burn unit soon. Please let us know if you’d like Bob to not visit her with his accordion.

As to the zippo lighter: some of you have expressed concern over the appropriateness of this item as a party favor in a child’s gift bag. First, let’s not jump to conclusions; we all have our own interpretations of “appropriate” and “child.”