From Laura: A Novel: For Olivia, the love of my life, and my best friend

From Outlandish Badland Justice: A Collection of Short Stories and Vignettes: For Olivia, who has stood beside me through more trials and tribulations than any one person should have to experience

For many, yoga is a way to relax and invigorate the mind, body and spirit. But have you ever felt that ordinary yoga isn’t enough? Do you find yourself still tense? Still stressed? Still radiating with a hateful, murderous energy that frightens your friends and loved ones? What you need is Rage Yoga. After studying the art of yoga via DVD for many months, I have come up with my own simple, three-minute program, designed to help you dig deep inside yourself and compress your emotions into a tiny ball of pure poison.

At a poorly attended Los Angeles gallery exhibition this week of the photographs of little-known celebrity photographer Howard Busgang, one image stood out among the rushed compositions of unwelcome encounters: a heretofore unseen photograph of Marlon Brando with his head in a cast.

Tabitha Nostrand resides in a small farming community near the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York, with her partner, three cats, four dogs, a jackrabbit, and a stoat (look it up). Her day job involves repairing tractor engines. Her night job involves her partner, Glenda. Her new novella, The Sweet Dark Envelope, will appear this fall in the Androgyrotic 6 anthology from Northern Mascot Press.

We are happy to report that Fitted City made record-breaking sales this year. In particular, we are seeing a massive response to our themed accessories, t-shirts, and especially what we’ve designated as “non-essential, mid-value sub-cultural capital”. Our MVPs this year are the steadfast ironic mustache, the labbit, and the YOLO curio. However, our continued success depends on trend forecasting. Our research team, after much procrastinating and some afternoons dedicated to “just figuring things out in their lives, y’know?”, have come up with the following thematic clusters that ID the latest hipster cachets for 2014/2015.