All entries by this author

“Highlights from the Sharing Circle at the KnickKnack Toy Co. Staff Retreat,” by Micah Cratty

Jan 20th, 2009 | By

Thomas Huntington, CEO, broke into tears and said that despite the long hours he worked he truly loves his fiancée, Victoria, and will try to balance his work and home life better in the future. The marketing department then started singing “Thomas and Victoria sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Charlotte Figueroa, Northwestern Director of Product

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“Hector & Kevin & Sheila,” by Eirik Gumeny

Jan 20th, 2009 | By

Hector Van Ort lived in a pumpkin. It was a very nice pumpkin, very orange. At one point, it had actually been made of pumpkin, but then it got warm and the pumpkin got unpleasant and Hector had it reinforced with matchsticks and tinder. That worked about as well as one would expect, really. Thankfully

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“HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND GREETINGS TO ALL!!!!” by Carolyn McGovern

Jan 20th, 2009 | By

It’s that time again! Time for the obligatory holiday letter. Who can top the Kelly’s letter, though? Well, we can try. You will notice, I’ve got the mandatory red paper. So that’s a good start. Okay, let me begin. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!! GREETINGS TO ALL!!!!! (How was that? Did I put enough exclamation points? I put

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“Females And Their Ideas Of The Purpose Of Babies,” by Daniel Gallik

Jan 20th, 2009 | By

She told me she was going to tell me how we were going to be. I said I wanted to be silent.. She yelled silence was her fortune. I asked her, pleaded with her to get a new car. She said I was a waste of money. Then, she hugged me and told me I

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“before i die,” by Jason Barber

Jan 20th, 2009 | By

shoplift saffron. include the word “carthaginian” in a title. be naked for days on end. understand and consume cheese. chop at bales of hay with a machete. extrude mud. form bricks. wear yellow and baby blue, together. lightly touch a woman’s lower back dimples with the gooey side of a warm aloe vera leaf. witness

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