I hear these pop stars
are falling in love,
stumbling blind for
chic gowns
and ballroom brides,

I am Andy Garcia’s conjoined twin.
(Yes, that Andy Garcia. The actor.)
A ghost you could call me, I suppose,
Wikipedia calls me the “dead parasitic twin on his left shoulder.”
How would you like that for your epitaph?

In Australia, Huntsman spiders kill in cars. One sees a spider the size of a
child’s hand rush across the dash, one exits the road at freefall. (Clever girl.)

In 1676, because
he did not doubt
the greatness of
man, Robert Plot

mistook that which
remained—the knee

The University wasn’t too impressed that I had taught the monkey to speak. No matter what I did, they always required more.

I knew that when I taught Chester to clean my office, put away my books, sweep up the cookie crumbs, and make neat piles of paper on my desk, it wasn’t going to impress the department. But I couldn’t lose with that, so I considered it my first success, regardless.