I am totally ALL ABOUT MLP-FiM! Have you seen it yet? It. Is. AMAZERBEAM.

Remember the 80s? I don’t because of hypnotherapy, but I’m pretty sure I was all about My Little Pony then, because they glitter and have pretty hair and also they were ponies. And now all of that is true AGAIN, but, like, in MODERN TIMEZ. Some people say that remaking cartoons from the 80s is lame, but those people are POOP because no one hates ponies. Or unicorns. Or pegasuseses. Or OMG COMBINATION OF THE TWO!!!1!!

This is our first video submission. Check out this link to watch Mike Romeling perform “Got a Tick on my Dick” for you, the Defenestration audience. Once you watch it a few times, feel free to sing along. Complete lyrics are provided below.

I’ve read that fruits and vegetables that you’ve grown yourself, and that meat you’ve killed yourself, taste better than what you buy at the store. I don’t know if that’s true or not, because I can’t get anything to grown in my garden except rose bushes and weeds, and after one night of thorn-and-dandelion casserole, I knew I’d have to stick to the local grocery store for all my eating needs.

U iz teh subject. So u iz see. U iz hear. And teh other sensez. U iz kno. But hau u iz kno u kno? U iz not kno u kno! Until nau. Cuz I iz tell u hau u kno. I iz teh big flossafer Immanual Kant, and I can haz knowledge. Also: German. I iz never hav teh hawt secks like Descartes (cuz he iz teh French), but I iz hav somethin better: teh theory uv hau thru teh categoriez uv teh understandin, and without recourse 2 teh noumenal, teh mind can apprehend sensory manifoldz, thus makin possible teh scientific knowledge. Meanz teh objectivity, teh physicz. But not teh metaphysicz – noez, u iz not hav! Y? Teh dialecticz, LDO![1] U iz get? OK, I iz make Kriteek 4 splain 2 u. U iz listen nau.

An important thing for children today is establishing their social standing amongst the roving tribes of feral children. Now, in watching various nature programs on NatGeo, this is generally accomplished by overthrowing the Alpha male/female, which is usually determined via some sort of violent altercation which, at minimum, ends with some type of horrible disfigurement.

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