Welcome to the April 2011 issue of Defenestration!

You could call this the “Five by Five” issue. That’s not a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference, but it could be, because back then vampires were cool. No, it refers to the layout for this issue. This time around, we’ve published the work of five short story writers and five poets. If symmetry delights you, then the table of contents alone will be enough to entertain you for hours.

Of course, there’s more to this issue than its table of contents (which is pretty great). We have monkeys and sex and Andy Garcia. We also have a story about a ham sandwich—I daresay it’s the greatest story about a ham sandwich that’s ever been published. And that’s only scratching the surface. This issue features a lot of new faces and a couple of familiar ones. I hope you like it as much as Bigfoot does.

Sharp As A Tack

Self help insult books are on the rise
Since researchers discovered
the severely critical remain
sharp as a tack into old age;
alzheimers thwarted
with withering stares.

I hear these pop stars
are falling in love,
stumbling blind for
chic gowns
and ballroom brides,

I am Andy Garcia’s conjoined twin.
(Yes, that Andy Garcia. The actor.)
A ghost you could call me, I suppose,
Wikipedia calls me the “dead parasitic twin on his left shoulder.”
How would you like that for your epitaph?

In Australia, Huntsman spiders kill in cars. One sees a spider the size of a
child’s hand rush across the dash, one exits the road at freefall. (Clever girl.)