5:00a: Wake-up in a cold sweat with acute nausea. Ask yourself for the 53,732,481 time if this is what you want to do. Tell yourself enthusiastically: “Yes, of course! Getting married has been my top priority since I was baby with formless thoughts.” Go back to sleep, relieved.

7:30a: Wake up for real, take a shower and welcome your bridesmaids. Ask Bridesmaid #1 why she brought a travel container of Starbucks blend coffee, when you, the bride, requested a tallskinnyvanillalatte. When she starts to cry, tell her it’s okay – but, roll your eyes, so she knows that it actually is not okay.

For your Sunday amusement… a comic!

This is an incredibly stupid portmanteau, but my son thought the idea was pretty cool. He calls it a “dinosaur car.”

You won’t believe this, but I, Alison Burke, lover of freedom and freedom fries, has stumbled upon a major discovery. The happy accident occurred while visiting the boudoir of the Pentagon, where hidden beneath the bald eagle skin rug, in front of a roaring (non-subsidized) fire, I found a treasure confiscated by the Navy Seals:

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Tired of the “unfair portrayal” of wasps as “pissed-off flying hate machines,” PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, launched their “Wasps Are People Too, In A Way” campaign in early 2012. This was a movement to boost the image of these ornery insects by having them participate in a variety of sporting events, demonstrating that they, too, could engage in cooperative and playful activities. When asked about the logic of this idea, PETA promptly took a few more naked photos of celebrities for their advertisements, and public tempers were conveniently soothed.