While Tolstoy wrote outdoors,
his goat
would eye him suspiciously,
making sure he wrote nothing
that was anti-goat,

Each joke
is a crack
of thunder,
a rupture
in the sky’s
grammar.

hail, fellow well met, 1
handful, protagonist seen as quite a, 2
happiness as goal, 46
hazards, 56, 75, 113
headstrong, 2
heart: broken, 56; in mouth, 24–28; murmur, 123; of darkness, 307. See also lungs, liver, lights

Pity poor Ebenezer Scrooge. Throwing open his window that nippy December morning, he’s so culturally insensitive as to wish everyone a merry Christmas (Pardon my language!). Had he only known how to celebrate the seasonal festivities in a more thoughtful, less offensive way, he could have shouted “Happy Holidays” at all he met. Scrooge, alas, forgot that lots of people out there are not Christians, don’t know what a Christian is, don’t take being a Christian seriously, regard themselves only as nominal Christians, hate Christians, or have vague ideas at best that something Christian is somehow or other connected with December 25th. That’s a big audience ready to be offended. Be very careful.

Being turned down by attractive celebrities is how sociopaths are made. At least in the cartoon world. Winslow is very likely to start kidnapping princesses next. That’s just how these things go down.