A Bunch of Tricks for Dumping Bitches

Simon says: In your face Neal Sedaka. Breaking up, is really not at all that hard to do. In fact Paul’s got fifty ways to do the deed. The balance of the tutorial is anchored by session drummer, Steve Gadd’s, way-cool stick work on this post-divorce, revenge tinged fantasy which topped the charts throughout the spring of 1976. It remains, likely forever, Simon’s biggest solo hit.

I know, I know. Everyone’s talking about Fifty Shades of Grey. But I have to be honest–I didn’t really know about it until Eileen’s lovely entry on it earlier this month. Perhaps a new working title should be Fifty Shades of Beige or Bored Housewives with Libidos. So I guess I should be happy for

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I actually had no idea they gave out Pulitzer Prizes for editorial cartooning until everyone made a big stink about the complete lack of a fiction winner this year. (Which I think is worth making a big stink about. Because seriously?) I think it’s… amusing… that a Pulitzer can be given out for a political cartoon, but not a freaking novel.

It’s so cute, the way your little Jessica jumps for the bow in my Chloe’s hair. Jessica has good taste, I can tell you that! Jessica is… what? Three? Oh, she’s four? So is my Chloe! They must be in the same class at Key School! No? Not in school? Oh. Well, Jessica’s only four. I understand. Chloe’s been in school since birth, but she’s 98th percentile in “attention adaptability” so we feel it would be irresponsible NOT to keep her away at school most of the time. They charge us four times as much, but it’s worth every penny.

Recently I celebrated the 29th anniversary of my birth, and my mother took it upon herself to to embarrass me at work. So, the day before my birthday, a family friend/co-worker wheels a giant SpongeBob cake back to my cube and proceeds to sing “Happy Birthday” loudly and off-key (bless her heart). Clearly, my mother

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