Stephen Dorff enters a Mexican bar somewhere in Mexico. It’s sketchy, but it’s clear Stephen Dorff couldn’t care less. He saunters up to the bar, electric cigarette dangling from his lips, and gives the grizzled bartender a look that says, “You know what I want and what I want is a delicious, ultra premium top shelf tequila.” The bartender pours him a shot from a nondescript bottle of tequila. Stephen Dorff glares at him, beyond annoyed. The bartender totally gets it and is like, “Whoa, this guy knows his tequila,” and pours him a shot of ultra-slow filtrated Avión premium tequila.

What better way to celebrate the independence of the United States than with a comic celebrating the cartoons I grew up with in its (arguably) greatest decade?!

Once, in China, I asked a young friend where would be a good shop or market to pick up a new pair of shoelaces.

He paused, thought about it, and said, “You can’t. You just have to buy new shoes.”

I smiled “Have you ever been shopping on your own?”

He said, “Well no. My mother buys everything for me.”

It’s time to delve into more examples of Great (?) Literature’s Worst Boyfriends. Cuz’ I know how to LEAN IN, bitches.

I think the 24th installment of those Transformers movies came out today, so let’s celebrate their explosive mediocrity with a Transformers-themed Ben & Winslow comic.