Have you ever watched someone trying to unload unfinished cake on the rest of the world? There’s a sort of desperation that kicks in once they realize they’ve bought an entire cake but no one’s going to finish it. It’s one of life’s many little tragedies.

The black, I think. The sleeveless Little Black Dress with the scoop neck and cut-in armholes. You’ll never be wrong in a simple LBD. This one has ruching, rows of shallow gathers across the front and back that camouflage a waistline gone to pot. Also, the hemline is a demure inch above the knee. Flirty, but age-appropriate.

Being around people is exhausting. Not from the traditional introverted POV of “straining to think of ways to be friendly” but more of “I’m trying really hard to not tell you to ‘fuck off’ as that’s not appropriate for work/school/church.”

WARNING: Reading this comic may cause sweats, shakes, spontaneous combustion, vomiting, squidmouth, separation of soul from body, vampirism, Lincolnism, arachnophilia, unexplained handsomeness, gnome infestations, and chestbursters.

Thanks for your e-mail. I’m out of the office right now, but I’ll reply as soon as I can. If you require immediate assistance, please contact Nicole Michaels at extension 4235. Your message is important to me.

Note that by “right now” I don’t mean now now, but rather then now, because I’m actually here while I compose this message, but I’ll be gone by the time you receive it, at some future now.