Dear Auntie,

First of all, happy 80th birthday! I hope your social security check arrived. Guess what? Tim and I are having our wedding on August 20. And guess where we’re taking our vows? Koya-san, Japan! It’s the happiest place on Earth. It’s gonna be so cool.

I drew this after going to Costco and realizing that a rotisserie chicken and a bag of tortilla chips cost the same amount of money. To me, that’s mind boggling. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think an animal is worth a lot more that a pile of corn. Weird.

You: Hey hon! Just wondering when you’re getting home, I was thinking we’d do tacos or— Him: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you call me here and interrupt me, you’re breaking my concentration. You’re distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?

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I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, everyone! And now, in the days that follow, I hope you enjoy your leftovers.

Question: Why do I feel so tired all the time?

Unwanted Answer: You drink no liquids other than Pepsi, and you smoke 80 cigarettes a day.