Liches, as we all know from our “basement years” when we played Dungeons & Dragons, are undead wizards. What you didn’t learn from your Monstrous Manual was that liches are very real and can be found in every country that has wizards (except, interestingly enough, the United Kingdom, which has strict rules about this sort of thing owing to its esteemed School of Witchcraft and Wizardry).

Washingtonians, this Wednesday afternoon, come to the Starbucks on 1600 K Street to become acquainted with some young, interesting, average income level Asian American guys and gals. Instead of meeting Asian American doctors, lawyers, and consultants, you’ll meet Dr. Dre copycats, alcoholic paralegals, and T-Mobile wireless salespeople.

This costume is incredibly easy to do and involves very little planning. It’s also very messy.

Have you noticed an influx of fashionistas in your neighborhood? These newcomers are intriguing, and you’d like to inspect up close those unisex infinity scarves. You’ve already snatched a few strangers off of their research vessel/vacation dock. You might have been raised by alligators or gestated in a nuclear cooling pool, but you recognize something special when you see it.

Sexy Halloween costumes get crazier every year. I think costume companies consider it a contest among themselves to come up with the stupidest ideas. And let’s face it. They’re all winners.