I remember
the hour we lost.
It was April,
and the hundred-year-old trees were being born for the first time again.
I felt,
so briefly,
like I had control over time,
although of course I was only doing what I was told, like everyone else.

Farts are underrated. There! Somebody had to say it out loud and I, for one, have decided that I want to hold it in no more. I don’t know about you, but modern day farting has left me fairly dissatisfied and as a fellow fartsman, roughly discriminated too—the guilt, the secrecy, the cover ups and the denial! Ugh, denial’s the worst… it’s all very exhausting, to say the least. Like everything else in this world, I bet things weren’t this complicated back in the day. Yeah, I’m pretty sure they celebrated farts just as everything else but we don’t hear the history books talk about those, now do we? See? Discrimination.

This year has been awful. We’ve lost a lot of really good people and had to deal with some pretty crappy global events, culminating in a disastrous U.S. election (and then followed by even more deaths). Lots of folks are looking forward to 2017. Count me in, man.

For the Ethically Minded Agoraphobe: an app which shows you the species of monkey that your current anxiety medication was tested on, and what happened to each of those monkeys and how they are doing now, and when they are going to be allowed to go back to the forest—with before and after pictures.

Winslow’s been eating a lot of pizza this year (and this particular brand has showed up in a couple strips already). It’s now easy to see why. And in case you’re wondering, this place only exists in Ben and Winslow’s town, and it doesn’t deliver.