Good morning, friends of the internet, and welcome to the April 2025 issue of Defenestration! I think this is the first time the issue has ever fallen on Easter, so I’m sure many of you are about to enjoy today’s short stories and poems with fingers sticky with chocolate, marshmallows, and jellybeans; that stuff is a pain to clean off your screens and keyboards, so I suggest washing your hands before you continue. That’s probably a good idea, anyway. Y’all touch some weird stuff.

It’s still technically summer, and while I know you’re impatiently waiting for the onset of sweater weather, never fear: the August 2024 issue of Defenestration is here, so at the very least you won’t be bored. (At least for now. I don’t know how long it will take you to read six short stories and six poems. Probably not very long. So maybe you won’t be bored for the next 45 minutes. If we’re lucky, the weather will get cooler in that short time and you’ll be able to break out that sweater in your closet that’s been tempting you with is scandalous softness all summer.)

Welcome, one and all, to the April 2024 issue of Defenestration, which marks our 21st volume. Yes, Defenestration is now old enough to drink alcoholic beverages in the United States, obtain a concealed weapons permit, adopt a child, and gamble at casinos. So if you don’t hear from Defenestration for the next week or so,

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Hello, world! Welcome to the December 2023 issue of Defenestration!

I’m going to be honest with you. As I write this I’m preparing to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol with my family. We have pizza. We have soda. Our bodies and minds are prepared for the greatest Christmas movie to ever deck our halls. So I’m really not in the proper mindset to write a decent editorial. I could write about Muppets, certainly. I could write pages and pages about Muppets. But Kermit and his friends don’t really have anything to do with this latest issue of Defenestration. 

Is it really time for a new issue of Defenestration? Has the summer really come and gone? It must be true, otherwise I wouldn’t be here typing these words: Welcome to the August 2023 issue of Defenestration!

This month’s issue starts off with a new take on an old joke and… well, I don’t want to say the issue gets progressively weirder after that, because it’s all pretty weird. We’ve got some teleportation, some shark attacks, and juuuust enough pocket monsters to be amusing without resulting in a cease and desist letter. There’s a bunch of other funny stuff, too, but if I told you all about them here it would ruin the surprise. I know you’re curious.