The original title of this one was “Tricks and Hos” but I decided I didn’t want to go there.

EVANSTON, Ill. (May 13, 2018) – In a shocking move following a whirlwind week that featured repeated junkets from Evanston to Chicago (the “Commute”), numerous late-night bottle feedings while her domestic partner (the “Husband) was out of town and three straight evenings of eating leftover baby food out of a jar while huddled defeated over the kitchen sink, a 5-foot-8, 175-pound frame of tired flesh (the “Body”) launched a surprise hostile takeover bid for Tracy McDonough (the “Company”). Details of the bid reveal the Company has been consistently undervalued for at least three decades.

I don’t know about you guys, but the pumpkin quality has been really poor around here.

Okay. Play it cool. Don’t look. But I think those Tapered Jeans 30% Off are tailing me.

Why do I think that? Well, for starters, they’ve been popping up in my rear-view for two long weeks.

In keeping with our Halloween theme, here’s Winslow’s entry into the fashion world.