If a gentleman places his hand on your knee under the table at a dinner party with the intention of signaling you to shut up, stab him immediately in the eye with a fork (salad fork, place fork, oyster fork or dessert fork are equally apropos).  Use sufficient force to penetrate the meniscus. If eyeball juice squirts onto your food, discreetly push your plate to the side and wave the server over to replace your tainted victuals. 

For your Sunday enjoyment: a comic!

The birds have gotten really aggressive lately.

It’s okay, I’ve dated worse.

Yes, I know he’s fictional. Yes, I know that’s a flaw.

I know many of you are stuck inside right now. Probably playing video games (because that’s what I’ve been doing). And yeah, you’re probably playing Animal Crossing, but I had an idea for a Pokemon comic, so that’s what you’re getting this week.