Old and creepy is the new modern minimalist. Fuelled by series like Netflix’s The Haunting of Hill House, millennials have been leaving their city lofts in droves to find freedom and frights in the country.

My wife is a fast reader, so to save money on books each month she reads a lot of free stuff on Kindle. Sometimes she finds some hidden gems, but more often than not she reads some really, really weird novels with amazingly terrible covers, and Kindle keeps recommending even weirder stuff. I love the book covers she texts me while I’m at work. Today’s comic is inspired by some of those novels.

[Cast thou eyes upon a shambling, wretched, pock-marked woman, cloaked in filth. Dark music doth bellow through the howling winds from a bladder pipe and frame drum.]

“Hi! I’m Christy. Yes, I can tell you about FAQ. What would you like to know? I’m sorry, I did not catch that. What would you like to know? What would you like to know? Okay! You’d like to know about FAQ!”

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Chauncy. Actually, that’s totally understandable because he isn’t a character in this comic strip at all and is instead from an older, now defunct strip of mine. But sometimes you need a vampire, right? And I have a pile of them already designed and ready to go, so…