When I was in the fourth grade, I became obsessed with lizards. Anoles, geckos, skinks, iguanas, and even Komodo dragons captured my attention. On the outside, I looked like the other little girls with my blonde pigtails and Disney Princess lunch box. On the inside, I had a reptile obsession. While other kids my age read chapter books and played soccer, I checked out every reptile book in my elementary school library and memorized hundreds of fun facts about lizards.

It’s almost Christmas, so let’s make some terrible Christmas puns. WITH DINOSAURS!

This year was literally filled with death and destruction on a level most of us aren’t used to, but that doesn’t mean humor has been destroyed along with it. Some legitimately hilarious things have happened in 2020, and this month we’re going to pile on an extra helping of hilarious things before the year comes

[continue reading…]

He was a character, apparently. He wore a cape—not one of those little capes that rich people (usually villains) in old movies wore to the opera. This was full-size, and black as night with a red lining. He had a khaki shirt and trousers underneath, and he wore a pith helmet like he was Livingston I presume, going on a safari.

Bird shit. Bird shit everywhere.

“You said car washes were a rip-off, Dad.”