Defenestration: December 2020

Dec 20th, 2020 | By | Category: Archives, Editorials, Featured

This year was literally filled with death and destruction on a level most of us aren’t used to, but that doesn’t mean humor has been destroyed along with it. Some legitimately hilarious things have happened in 2020, and this month we’re going to pile on an extra helping of hilarious things before the year comes to an end. The December 2020 issue of Defenestration is almost twice as big as it normally is. Part of that has to do with the large number of submissions we held on to during our last reading period, and part of that is Eileen not wanting you, the readers, feeling sad and bored while stuck inside (either alone or with annoying family members who are also sad and bored).

I never really know what an issue is going to look like in the end, but I’m always pleasantly surprised. Eileen and I typically save things for consideration independently of one another; Eileen will read about a week’s worth of stuff, keeping or rejecting things, and then I’ll read another week’s worth of stuff doing the same. So at the end of the reading period, there’s a bunch of stuff in there that I’ve never read before, and a bunch of stuff that I read weeks or months ago that I had forgotten all about. I like being surprised by the stuff Eileen’s picked, and I like laughing all over again at the things I’ve picked. Hopefully you’ll enjoy our selections as well.

This month has a lot of returning contributors and a lot of new names (including a writer published for the very first time). We’ve got vampires and chimpanzees, ill-fated relationships, and the most recent goings-on at Illuminati headquarters. We’ve got heists, robots, and adventures both real and imagined. Also, fair warning: the poems and stories contained herein may contain adult themes and swear words, including some of the really good ones. Also worth noting: Dan Nielsen provided an audio version of “Catching the Red-Eye,” and we’ve provided it at the beginning of the story. Defenestration isn’t in the podcast business, but this was a cool addition by the author that we thought was worth sharing.

As always, a new issue means a new reading period here at Defenestration HQ. The inbox is once again open to poetry and short story submissions as we collect stuff for our April 2021 issue. Send us the best, funniest thing you’ve got.

—Andrew Kaye, Editor-in-Chief

Short Stories:
Tim McDaniel, “Children of the Nightcap”
Lisa Fox, “Elite AutoSpa”
Jerry Tran, “My Pleasure”
Dan Nielsen, “Catching the Red-Eye”
Maura Yzmore, “Fanciful Flights”
Eirik Gumeny, “Shouldn’t Have Worn That Petard If You Didn’t Want to Be Hoisted by It”
John Mara, “Human Comedy on Parade at the Agora Café”
Kajetan Kwiatkowski, “Squeezing By”
Myna Chang, “Silver Dollar Davis and the Mediocre Meteorite Caper”
Mike Scofield, “The Adventure Suits”
Ella Moon, “I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About This”
Kevin Binder, “Creative Differences at Illuminati Headquarters”
Tim Oke, “Cat Owners”

Emmy Newman, Two Poems
Francis Fernandes, “Elemental”
Ann Pedone, Two Poems
Jack Berning, “Why Does Nobody Care About the Death of my Dieffenbachia?”
Joseph Moorman, Two Poems
Mary Chris Bailey, “Advice to a Young Poet”

Downloadable Copy:
Defenestration, December 2020

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