Winslow has replaced his head with jack-o-lanterns lots of times (and he’s replaced his body with a jack-o-lantern once, too). I figured it was about time for him to think outside the box.

Who is the most reviled human being? Who is the brunt of the unkindest jokes? The title gives us away. It’s the mother-in-law.

In this lecture I will not propose that we mother-in-laws feebly protest our bad reputation. Hell no. I say, let’s get born again into society’s stereotype. Let’s use it to get the benefits we so obviously deserve. Above all, let’s help our children expunge those feelings of guilt towards us now, while we’re living, rather than suffer those unfixable feelings of guilt when we’re gone.

I’m imagining Winslow on a dark room with his first-generation Gameboy, killing off Kirby over and over again in hopes of populating an entire ghost house in Super Mario World…

Proposal for a Ph.D. Thesis in Sociology The University of West-Central X

Introduction:

The sociology of children’s play spaces is such a well-mined field that it might even be characterized as a veritable minefield for potential dissertation writers. Horizontal and vertical studies abound, as do methodologies, which range from (unsurprisingly) the concrete to the theoretical, and from studies of single play spaces, to comparative studies of multiples.

We here at the Defenestration Inner Council want to let you youngins know that we believe you are unique individuals with so much potential ahead of you. Alas, as we discovered ourselves, the world does not agree. Prepare to be categorized and labeled (oftentimes inappropriately) for the rest of your lives!