Back in 2011, after reminiscing about past jobs, Winslow started a contracting company called the Winslow Toughguy Firm, which specialized in bioengineering. WTF was responsible for such innovations as the apple pieger and the velocitractor. This is the company Winslow has sold to [redacted]. While everything he tells Ben in the first two panels is absolutely true, what he fails to mention is that the gambling losses, the helicopter crash, and the mercenary transfer all happened on the same night.

Central Junction City–Convicted gunman Wilbur Zeus Grindwell, serving a life sentence at Inman Penitentiary, is now suing his English professor for her role in his attack on fellow college students at Central Junction College last semester that killed 10 and wounded 7 students and staff. Grindwell claims the professor, Dr. Janella Rondeau, encouraged him to stage his assault on her Writing 101 class with a semi-automatic Ruger SR-556.

I’ve had a busy, busy couple of weeks. So busy, in fact, that I was having trouble coming up with something to write about for my editorial this month. Eileen suggested I write about pie, but this year also marks Defenestration’s TENTH volume. So in place of an editorial, here’s a list of ten pies…

Danny Ramirez was sitting on the toilet when he heard it. The constant, staccato thuds and the slight clatter of plates and glasses bunny-hopping across the kitchen counter.

Not again, he thought. Not another embarrassing phone call to the complex office. Not another disgusted plumber calling in for backup. Maria walking in at the exact worst moment. Danny could feel his face turning red at the mere thought. Only then did he realize he hadn’t flushed yet. There was no way the steady shaking could be the result of a pipe trying desperately not to explode. Danny relaxed considerably.

I found a ventriloquist’s dummy in a felt-lined box in the attic of my late uncle. Upon lifting the lid, its eyes snapped open and it began moving its jaw. He was glad to see me, he said. Living in a box is no living. He wanted out. He wanted to do new things.