The Automated Teller Cyborg (ATC) combines the convenience of an ATM with the customer support capabilities and friendly demeanor of the average underpaid bank teller. Money is easily accessible by swiping a valid bank card and pressing a few buttons. ATCs are also completely mobile, cheap to maintain (they like hamburgers), and capable of defending themselves from would-be robbers. They are the perfect blend of man and machine.

Until, of course, something goes terribly wrong.

Thank You in Response to Condolences Offered

Dear Purveyor of Condolences,

Thank you for your gesture of condolence. I’m sure your heart was in the right place and if you think you did enough, I guess that’s all that matters.

Thanks again,

Mourner

Recently, I forced my broke-ass to shop for some spring season deals. As a woman working in the corporate world, it’s important to look professional, and not look like a professional who gets offered money for “hugs.” This is a tough time of year for work appropriate wear. It’s too warm to wear wool slacks,

[continue reading…]