Recently, I forced my broke-ass to shop for some spring season deals. As a woman working in the corporate world, it’s important to look professional, and not look like a professional who gets offered money for “hugs.”

This is a tough time of year for work appropriate wear. It’s too warm to wear wool slacks, and it’s too “never gonna happen” to wear your pajama jeans to work. What’s not a girl, not yet a woman (according to my driver’s license, anyways. You shut up!), to do?

Answer: She does a poncho. (Ew, gross.)

Corrected Answer: She wears a poncho. (Better.)

Yes, the poncho! Simple, stylish and oh so fabulous, the poncho is an investment piece that you can wear for any season!

Spring: I find a hip, oversized army poncho says, "I can command this garrison!" like nothing else.

Summer: Oh, did you need me to come to the company picnic? I was there, you just couldn't see me in my awesome poncho!

Fall: It might be rainy, but have no fear! My poncho and I can float you flawlessly to your bus stop, while looking stylish and sexy.

Winter: This poncho keeps me warm, yet looking funky and fresh while I file. Bonus: I can pack food in the pockets for snacking during meetings.

The Poncho for 2012: A full-proof way to never getting laid.

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Alison Burke demands that you RESPECT her GENIUS. *Throws boa over shoulder, walks out*
*Comes back in, shoves a magazine off your desk, walks back out *