Dear Uncle Jay:
I have recently been contemplating abandoning my job as an itinerant poultry inspector–I’m really tired of all the politics and drama–in order to pursue a full-time career as a gangster. My friend Irwin says that I will never get anywhere in that field without a catchy and colorful nickname, but I’m at a loss as to how to choose one. Can you help?
–B.W., Racine, Wisconsin
Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving and I didn’t feel like putting up a Thanksgiving-themed comic up yesterday, here’s a turkey-themed comic. Because people cook turkeys on days other than Thanksgiving, right? And you probably have some cold turkey leftover from yesterday, right? So turkey’s still fresh in your mind? Maybe even in a sandwich?
Dear God,
First of all, thank You for sharing Your work with us. I think it has a lot of potential; there’s some interesting imagery, and it flows well. There are a few things, though, that I think are working against it right now.
Like, when we start off, it’s 13.7 billion years ago, and stuff is all hot and dense, so it starts expanding, and the rapid expansion cools everything off, resulting in a continuously expanding state. (Or everything is created from nothing six thousand years ago? There seems to be a discrepancy here.) Your descriptions are really good, but I’m left wondering why any of this is happening in the first place. What’s it all for? You need to ask Yourself, “Why today?”
1) Never wear just a negligee. Pair it with some loafers so your feet don’t get cold. 2) Ladies: put on a touch of makeup. Men: slather it on. God knows you need it. 3) Don’t bring a water bottle – it makes you look nervous. Instead, bring a glass of chilled white wine, and
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Obviously this comic is based on the Dr. Seuss book The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. My son is obsessed with it at the moment, and he insists I read it to him twice–sometimes thrice–in one day. I don’t mind, of course. I always liked The Cat in the Hat Comes Back more than its predecessor, The Cat in the Hat. Something about an alphabet’s worth of doppelganger cats in a matryoshka of hats is awesome.