Archive for August, 2008
Defenestration: Back With A Vengeance!
Welcome to the August 2008 issue of Defenestration. It’s new and improved and deemed fit for human consumption by the Guild of Literary Magazines and Fishmongers. As you can see everything is very, very different from the way it was back in the day (“back in the day” meaning May, for those of you keeping [...]
“On William Butler Yeats”, by Sean Raune
1. Yeats walks into a room backwards and turns slowly. 2. Yeats likes the suspense of the thing. 3. Upon turning, Yeats will say, “Hi, fuckers!” and you will wave. You always wave. 4. Yeats, upon doing it with a woman for the first time, insists that she thereafter call him “Butters”. 5. At various [...]
“A-Loan”, by Alison Burke
Money should be used for useful things: pants-less man servants, spinning rims, and perhaps a gold and diamond encrusted pizza. Money therefore should not be applied to bone-crushing soul-crunching Caribbean medical school debt. When I first received my beginning payment for my loan, I immediately thought, “I’m going to have to start to hook every [...]
“Hot Air”, by Diane Gallant
The life of a balloonist is a life of adventure, and as I have the stout heart of an adventurer, I have chosen this life above any other. Where other men desire simple comfort or mere wealth, I prefer to experience many and varied wonders from a thousand feet in the air. I have seen [...]
“Hell” and “Tosser” by John Peck
Hell (from The Fall, Camus, tr. Justin O’Brien) I am an immaculate skeleton. I smell of dead leaves and furniture wax. I prostitute gulls with the help of alcohol. Tosser (from The Odyssey of Homer, tr. Richmond Lattimore) I hope my wife is not too drunk yet: she has the only key to the house. [...]
“Are You the Right Photographer for Me?”, by Jeff Crouch and Christopher Woods
___________________ Jeff Crouch is an internet artist in Grand Prairie, Texas. Google “Jeff Crouch” to see where he has been. Christopher Woods lives in Houston and in Chappell Hill, Texas. It is in the latter place that he hears coyotes cry at night. He doesn’t mind them as much as the occasional skunk that [...]
“Poems Composed Upon Accidentally Shaving Off My Beard and Not Accidentally Growing It Back” by John Pierce
My beard Spreading eternally over the surfaces of my face The wide plains, the rolling hills, the tiniest crevices. Never ceasing to grow. Except for that one time when I accidentally shaved it off. My beard is like the fall. As autumn leaves cascade groundward at the faintest breeze, So fell my beard into the [...]
“Astrology for the Bitter”, by Jon Alan Carroll
Aries (March 21-April 19): The manuscript you toiled over for five grueling years is now being returned by a bored receptionist. Give up. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’re having these dark thoughts and this tightness in your gut. To save money, you’ve cut down on little luxuries like cable TV and feelings of self-worth. Gemini [...]
“9-Square Championship”, by Danny Purvis
COLUMBIA, South Carolina: Thirty of the world’s top tic-tac-toe masters converged here to contest the first ever World Tic-Tac-Toe Championship. Two days later, on Sunday, July 14, Willy E. Atwood of nearby Cayce emerged from the strenuous 8-round competition as the best player in the world of perhaps the world’s best-known pencil-and-paper pastime and, incidentally, [...]
“Ventriloquist Dummy”, by Wakman111
the-defenestrati-wakman111-ventriloquist-dummy This is a flash comic. Click for the awesomeness. ———— White knuckling a pencil since the womb, Wakman111 has pushed out comics faster than his eraser’s lifespan. He has created over 20 comics since first grade: from his first comic character, “ERASERMAN,” a time traveling war veteran, to his most recent comics: “Butcher Shop” [...]
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