1. Yeats walks into a room backwards and turns slowly. 2. Yeats likes the suspense of the thing. 3. Upon turning, Yeats will say, “Hi, fuckers!” and you will wave. You always wave. 4. Yeats, upon doing it with a woman for the first time, insists that she thereafter call him “Butters”. 5. At various
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The life of a balloonist is a life of adventure, and as I have the stout heart of an adventurer, I have chosen this life above any other. Where other men desire simple comfort or mere wealth, I prefer to experience many and varied wonders from a thousand feet in the air. I have seen
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Aries (March 21-April 19): The manuscript you toiled over for five grueling years is now being returned by a bored receptionist. Give up. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’re having these dark thoughts and this tightness in your gut. To save money, you’ve cut down on little luxuries like cable TV and feelings of self-worth. Gemini
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