Archive for October, 2007
Defenestration: October 2007
Welcome to the October 2007 issue of Defenestration! The October editorials are always the most fun to write, because Halloween is a mere week or so away, and everyone enjoys talking about it. Especially me, because then I don’t need to strain myself writing anything terribly clever. This year, Genevieve is going as a professional [...]
“Blatant Truths. Succulent Infrequencies.” by Maurice Oliver
Okay class. Listen up. Here’s a list of inbred contractions that absolutely must be included: -A camera walking into the picture frame. -A series of thoughts that arrive on a conveyor belt. -Rusty nails absorbed in steely concentration. -Banjo lessons held inside a Trojan horse. -A pocket handkerchief with a wrinkled brow. -A vase wearing [...]
“Wincing at the Beautiful,” by Paul Hostovsky
So my friend Phil is telling me how he can’t get a date how he loves women and how they’re always giving him looks so I ask him what kind of looks so he winces at the beautiful braless young woman passing by at that particular propitious moment giving her a look of such longing [...]
“the distance of gravity,” by Stanley M. Noah
after work everyday two old women wearing tennis shoes would hang outside the liquor store waiting for their bus– these smiling gals in tennis shoes were seen diving hard onto the concrete the day gun shots came flying from inside the store, making it the high point of their dull lives– and like urban birds [...]
“A Daffodil’s Version of Romeo and Juliet,” By Amanda Burns
Warning: May contain nuts Recommended Audience: 18.5 + According to Harold Bloomers, ‘the love shared by Romeo and Juliet is as healthy and normative as a honey-coated enema after having your leg ripped off and your soul destroyed by an irate chicken wearing stilettos.’ Discuss this statement in relation to Shakespeare’s play and whatever version [...]
“Archangel Migraine,” by Wesley Durham
When I first found out I was a prophet I was super pumped. I mean who wouldn’t be. One day I’m the stockroom manager at Smart and Final and then, out of nowhere, I’m an instrument of the living god. That’s a hell of a promotion. He did a really good job explaining it to [...]
“Take That, Mr. Cleemann!” by Matthea Marquart
Having mastered the works of one Dr. Seuss at a precocious age, it was clear that I would be naturally gifted in the art of freestyle rap, should I ever choose to make my debut in this art form. However, even with the force of this overwhelming scientific evidence, my obstinate boyfriend Mr. Cleemann saw fit [...]
“The Last Short Girl I Loved,” by Chris Morgan
I met the last short girl I loved in pretty much the same way that I met the first short girl I loved. I was five days out of jail and I parked the car I was sleeping in right outside her house. Like the first short girl, she was a little over four feet. [...]
“Nietzsche Deconstructed,” by Michael Fowler
It is reported that the 14-year-old Nietzsche was known as “The Little Pastor” at the Schulpforta school, for his resemblance to a country parson in seriousness and other-worldliness. In fact he was sometimes called ”The Little Groover” for his wild harmonica playing and hipness, and the whole received biography of him is open to deconstruction. Indeed [...]
“My Name Is Inebrio Montoya,” by fhqwhgus and Andrew Kaye
Drawn by Andrew Kaye based on an idea by fhqwhgus ———— fhqwhgus (seriously not her real name, or so we hope) can be found hiding here http://fhqwhgus.deviantart.com/, at her deviantART site. There isn’t any candy there. Yet. Andrew Kaye: you probably know more about him than you wanted to. He drew this. His pheromones are [...]
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