Defenestration: October 2007

Welcome to the October 2007 issue of Defenestration!
The October editorials are always the most fun to write, because Halloween is a mere week or so away, and everyone enjoys talking about it. Especially me, because then I don’t need to strain myself writing anything terribly clever. 
This year, Genevieve is going as a professional blogger with [...]

“Blatant Truths. Succulent Infrequencies.” by Maurice Oliver

Okay class. Listen up. Here’s a list of inbred
contractions that absolutely must be included:
-A camera walking into the picture frame.
-A series of thoughts that arrive on a conveyor belt.
-Rusty nails absorbed in steely concentration.
-Banjo lessons held inside a Trojan horse.
-A pocket handkerchief with a wrinkled brow.
-A vase wearing a double-breasted suit.
-Algeria being put into the [...]

“Wincing at the Beautiful,” by Paul Hostovsky

So my friend Phil is telling me how
he can’t get a date
how he loves women and how
they’re always giving him looks
so I ask him what kind of looks
so he winces at the beautiful
braless young woman passing by
at that particular propitious moment
giving her a look of such
longing and longevity
that she returns his look with a look
that [...]

“the distance of gravity,” by Stanley M. Noah

after work everyday
two old women
wearing tennis shoes
would hang outside
the liquor store
waiting for their bus–
these smiling gals
in tennis shoes
were seen diving
hard onto the concrete
the day gun shots
came flying from
inside the store,
making it the high point
of their dull lives–
and like urban birds
they painfully learned
the distance of gravity
————
Stanley spends much of his time watching old movies and hanging [...]

“A Daffodil’s Version of Romeo and Juliet,” By Amanda Burns

Warning: May contain nuts
Recommended Audience: 18.5 +
According to Harold Bloomers,  ‘the love shared by Romeo and Juliet is as healthy and normative as a honey-coated enema after having your leg ripped off and your soul destroyed by an irate chicken wearing stilettos.’ Discuss this statement in relation to Shakespeare’s play and whatever version of Romeo [...]

“Archangel Migraine,” by Wesley Durham

When I first found out I was a prophet I was super pumped. I mean who wouldn’t be. One day I’m the stockroom manager at Smart and Final and then, out of nowhere, I’m an instrument of the living god. That’s a hell of a promotion. He did a really good job explaining it to [...]

“Take That, Mr. Cleemann!” by Matthea Marquart

Having mastered the works of one Dr. Seuss at a precocious age, it was clear that I would be naturally gifted in the art of freestyle rap, should I ever choose to make my debut in this art form.    However, even with the force of this overwhelming scientific evidence, my obstinate boyfriend Mr. Cleemann saw fit [...]

“The Last Short Girl I Loved,” by Chris Morgan

I met the last short girl I loved in pretty much the same way that I met the first short girl I loved. I was five days out of jail and I parked the car I was sleeping in right outside her house. Like the first short girl, she was a little over four feet. [...]

“Nietzsche Deconstructed,” by Michael Fowler

It is reported that the 14-year-old Nietzsche was known as “The Little Pastor” at the Schulpforta school, for his resemblance to a country parson in seriousness and other-worldliness. In fact he was sometimes called    ”The Little Groover” for his wild harmonica playing and hipness, and the whole received biography of him is open to deconstruction. Indeed [...]

“My Name Is Inebrio Montoya,” by fhqwhgus and Andrew Kaye

Drawn by Andrew Kaye based on an idea by fhqwhgus

————
fhqwhgus (seriously not her real name, or so we hope) can be found hiding here http://fhqwhgus.deviantart.com/, at her deviantART site. There isn’t any candy there. Yet.
Andrew Kaye: you probably know more about him than you wanted to. He drew this. His pheromones are all over it.