Warning: May contain nuts Recommended Audience: 18.5 + According to Harold Bloomers, ‘the love shared by Romeo and Juliet is as healthy and normative as a honey-coated enema after having your leg ripped off and your soul destroyed by an irate chicken wearing stilettos.’ Discuss this statement in relation to Shakespeare’s play and whatever version
[continue reading…]
When I first found out I was a prophet I was super pumped. I mean who wouldn’t be. One day I’m the stockroom manager at Smart and Final and then, out of nowhere, I’m an instrument of the living god. That’s a hell of a promotion. He did a really good job explaining it to
[continue reading…]
Having mastered the works of one Dr. Seuss at a precocious age, it was clear that I would be naturally gifted in the art of freestyle rap, should I ever choose to make my debut in this art form. However, even with the force of this overwhelming scientific evidence, my obstinate boyfriend Mr. Cleemann saw fit
[continue reading…]
I met the last short girl I loved in pretty much the same way that I met the first short girl I loved. I was five days out of jail and I parked the car I was sleeping in right outside her house. Like the first short girl, she was a little over four feet.
[continue reading…]
It is reported that the 14-year-old Nietzsche was known as “The Little Pastor” at the Schulpforta school, for his resemblance to a country parson in seriousness and other-worldliness. In fact he was sometimes called “The Little Groover” for his wild harmonica playing and hipness, and the whole received biography of him is open to deconstruction. Indeed
[continue reading…]