Posts Tagged ‘ VI.II ’

“Candid thoughts upon the recent purchase of your king size bed,” by Courtney Maum

Dec 20th, 2008 | By

Upon learning that you had purchased a brand new, Sealy postrapedic king size bed, I could not help but delve into the bank of observations I have collected over the years about the owners of king size beds, and I thought that I would share them with you because I got married before you and

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“Lincoln’s Bedpan,” by Ravi Mangla

Dec 20th, 2008 | By

Antique Roadshow is in town. I stop in. Why not? I tell them I’ve got something that’s going to knock their argyle socks off. Lincoln’s bedpan. His actual bedpan. That he peed in while president. Circa 1867. Like a golden apple that’s tumbled down the family tree. He puts on his bifocals, turns it over

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“5 Positive Things about Being Unemployed,” by Bridgett Gayle

Dec 20th, 2008 | By

The news is such a drag; all this negative talk about the credit crunch and increasing job loss. I, on the other hand, make pink lemonade from pink slips. Here are five positives to being unemployed that you might’ve overlooked. 1. Becoming Bill Murray Ever watch Groundhog Day and thought, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool

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“Oh Susanna, I Can See I Can See,” by Pat Moran

Dec 20th, 2008 | By

It was then that I realized why they had called her “Sausage Toes” in High school. I hadn’t noticed them before, when they had been hidden away from the world in her undersized Chuck Taylors. She had this way of sitting with her legs awkwardly stacked on top of each other, her feet extended straight

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Defenestration: January 2008

Jan 20th, 2008 | By

You can’t stop the Defenestration train once it starts moving. You need to either jump on board or get the hell out of the way. The January 2008 issue is here, and it’s already taken out fifteen cows! January is that time of the year where we get to hear about all the movies that

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